Q and A part drei

44. Have you ever urinated in a pool?

I’ve done that most places to be fair

45. Have you ever visited a country outside your continent


46. Have you forgiven yourself for past personal failures? Why or why not

No. I have never failed at anything therefore no need. I have never tried anything either, which means no failure. Simple.

47. How are you different from your Dad?

He was called Jack. I am not.

48. How are you different from your Mother?

All I know about her was she was a bitch

49. How are you feeling right now?

Sleepy. Too many questions

50. How difficult is it for you to be honest, even when your words may be hurtful or unpopular?

It’s so difficult being RIGHT all of the time

51. How do you replenish your energy?

Eating. I would have thought that was obvious

52. How does music matter to you?

I like reggae and 90s House. I like some classical, depends on the mood.

53. How far away from your birthplace do you live now?

200 miles.

54. How many days could you last in solitary confinement?

I have spent days in the Utility Room in total, pacing, barking. I couldn’t last a whole day though. I would need to get out to pooh.

55. How many oceans have you swum in?

Swimming is for fish. Fish are fascinating.

fish swim one way, then the other… much better than TV

56. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight what would you buy?


57. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

Change all of the passwords. Humans spend too much time on looking at different sized metal boxes with lights.

58. If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?

I would make the utility room twenty times bigger with a dog flap to the garden

59. If you could choose only one, would you rather go to Paris or London?

They both have delicious smells. But France has rabies. London has too many cats. Can I go to Bracknell instead? There is a good park there.

60. If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?

Colonel Sanders. We would have chicken

61. If you could eliminate one weakness or limitation in your life, what would it be?


62. If you could give your younger self any advice what would it be?

The vet has special gas which knocks you out and when you come back you won’t have babies. Bite the vet, bite the bad man and whenever they say they will be half an hour prepare yourself for a two hour wait.

63. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go?

Nepal. I hear Hindus in Nepal have a Dog worshipping festival. It’s a pity it’s taking so long to catch up elsewhere.

64. If you could have any job, what would you want to do / be?

Night security guard. Barking isn’t criticised, can sleep on the job. Cushy.

65. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

Living room

66. If you could live forever, would you rather stay one age forever or get older?

Get older. Stay one age and you never get birthday treats

67. If you could meet any one person (from history or currently alive), who would it be?

Terry Nutkins: legend. Loved animals…

68. If you could save just one, would you rather save Humanity or the Earth?

Earth. Dogs would live on, monkeys would devolve back into humans again, everyone’s happy

69. If you had time to do volunteer work, what would you do?

Sleeping trial experiments

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